Secret Life of Dolls

[arthoniel]

Previously, on Secret Life of Dolls…

So now that Data’s “protecting” Japan (although Japan has more than shown he can take care of himself) the Shelf has returned to normal. And it’s peaceful and quiet and nice… and then someone knocks on the door.

“Come in!!”

And… nobody enters. In fact, the door doesn’t even open. And, in my annoyance, I go over to the door to tell whoever it was out there off for not saying anything… and no one’s there. And then I look down.



“Hello.”

Data looks over at the newcomer from across the room, and then is suddenly right beside me. I assume he ran… too quickly for me to see. “Commander Riker. It is good to see you again.”

“Data! So nice to see a familiar face here!”

Japan wanders over, at a significantly slower pace (he does have much smaller legs, after all) to see who the newcomer is.

“Ah, hello. I am Commander William T. Riker of the USS Enterprise.”

“I am Japan. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“…You’re Japan? The 21st century country Japan?”

“Yes.”

“How is that possible?”

“Commander, what he says is true. He literally is Japan.”

“O… kay… I mean no disrespect… Mr. Japan…” Poor Will. He really seems to be having trouble saying that… “but… where I’m from, the idea of a person being a country would be considered absurd.”

“I understand. Lieutenant Commander Data explained that to me earlier.”

“Oh, I see. Are you two close?”

“He assisted me when I first came here as I dealt with Mr. Cullen.”

“…What? What happened?”

I cut in here. Edward may have not been the best behaved little sparkly vampire ever when he first arrived here, and particularly when Japan came, but that doesn’t mean that people need to get the wrong impression of him when they first come.

“Edward Cullen is a little… different, and there was an incident when Japan first arrived, but it’s nothing we haven’t gotten over, right?”

“Of course.”

“…Right…”

And, speak of the devil, Edward walks over. At a slow, human pace too.

“Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Edward Cullen.”

“Really? We were just talking about you.”

“I heard. Well, it seems like you two-” he motions to Data and Will “-have a lot to catch up on, so I suppose I’ll talk to you later.” And he retreats back to the Shelf.

I follow him. This… is very different from the last time we had someone new come along. And this time we have a full grown human as a newcomer, instead of a tiny anthropomorphic representation of a country... but he didn’t attack him at all. He didn’t even seem uncomfortable! Something has to be up.

“Edward?”

“Yes?”

“…Why didn’t you attack Will?”

“?”

“…Commander Riker.”

“Ah. Did you... want me to attack him?”

“N-No!! No… but… last time, when Japan came, you leapt on him. But now, with someone at least four times his size, you’re perfectly fine. What happened? What changed??” And how can I keep it going?

“Oh. Well… I um…” He pauses, and seems… embarrassed. No, seriously! If vampires could blush, he would be. And he looks up at me. “You know how you showed me the original Secret Life of Dolls by Cleolinda, and then gave me cotton balls to eat so I wouldn’t get thirsty like The Littlest Edward did on her Shelf?”

“…Yeeeeeeeeessssss… what about it?”

“Well… I felt like I’m not as… I’m not like that Edward. I’m different. I… didn’t need them. So I didn’t eat them. I just… felt like I could last. And around Data, I was fine, because he doesn’t tempt me like a person does I got a little thirsty, but it wasn’t like I was around any prey, so I was alright… but then that little morsel Japan came, and reminded me how it smells, and I… couldn’t resist.”

I’m just kind of staring at him at this point. Mouth hanging open and everything. First of all, it’s more than slightly disconcerting to hear Japan referred to as a “morsel”, and everyone else referred to as “prey”, but more than that… it’s the fact that he’s such an idiot. I mean, I knew he was prideful, but… really??

“But after I… after what happened with Japan, I realized that I need to eat, so I started eating the cotton balls you gave me. So I’m fine with Commander Riker now.”

“…Oh. Right. Well, I should go check back in with the others but… uh… yeah.”

I’m still in shock. I mean… really?? And then it occurs to me that it’s probably my fault. Shouldn’t I have noticed that he never needed a refill on his cotton balls? Damn… I’m a moron. And I ponder this as I wander back over to the door, just to see Will trying to pull something in. 



Yeah. A Command Chair.

“With two Starfleet officers here, this place should be run like a proper ship. And I have the chair to command it with and everything.”

“Uhh… W-Will… this isn’t a starship, you know…”

“Don’t worry about it! Half of us here are Starfleet officers, and Mr…. Japan here is already trained to be in an army, we’ll be fine! Data, help me get this over to the Shelf?”

…That wasn’t exactly what I’d meant…