arthoniel: (Ouran- God's busy)

Heartbreak is always bad. But I'm considering that maybe imminent heartbreak - waiting to get bruised when you know that there's no other option - is worse.

...This isn't the real post I had promised, and I'm sorry. I'll explain more.

But imminent heartbreak really is pretty damn bad.

It would happen around Valentine's Day too, wouldn't it?

ETA: Or... not? I honestly have no idea what's going on, but I'll explain it more later. For now, it's one in the morning, and I still need to read three acts of Much Ado About Nothing (or sparknotes it...  ;; ) and think about starting my Shakespeare essay. But... yeah. Life is weird right about now.
arthoniel: (Apollo Justice- I can percieve the truth)

SO FLIST. Help a girl out, would you?

What do you do when you want to ask someone the truth, but you're afraid of it?

There's this... person. And we used to talk all the time. And this person would be really sweet too. This person would remember things that were going on in my life and ask me about them and everything, when we got to really talking we would talk for hours... everything. It was wonderful.

But then recently, it seems like this person has grown distant from me, and I don't know why. I don't think I did something, and it's not like my behavior or anything has changed... but we just don't talk as often. When we do, I'm always the one to initate conversation, and whether the conversation lasts or not is entirely up for grabs. Sometimes it does! ...But sometimes it just doesn't. And I don't know what's changed, and I'm confused and...

...And I really want to ask this person what's going on. I want to ask if it's me, or if I did something, or if I just started getting boring or whatever... but I don't know what I'd do if he said yes. I mean, it would make me feel so much better if this person said no, that it wasn't me, that there was just a lot going on and everything, but... if this person said that yes, it is indeed me, it would hurt so much more.

So, um, help? I don't want to be the girl who just bugs them constantly, IMing them when it really just annoys them (no matter how rarely I do it... and sometimes I do go for stretches at a time without speaking to this person, not because I don't want to, but because I don't want to be that girl), etc. But... I want to know, somehow.

Gah. I just don't even know. I hadn't intended to go off about this for this long either. I'll shut up now, really.

arthoniel: (Random- Touched by an angel. Of music. A)

Once again, because it deserves repeating: THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS MADE OF WIN. Just felt like saying that.  XD

I've been chased off of my IM by that stalker guy. I don't appreciate it. You remember, that guy who kept asking me to prom? He hasn't asked again, thankfully, but he kept IMing me (and I'd like to mention, I never gave him my IM- he went out and searched it. I did not want to be his AIM Buddy) until I just have to ignore his IMs, because he doesn't seem to know how to take a hint. And then today he actually came up and asked me about it, and I gave him some bullshit about how I'm always really busy while on the computer, so I don't notice people IMing me (not true), and he says he has something "really important" to talk to me about. So he's going to discuss it online. Now, aside from how I've always thought that's a ridiculous way to discuss something important- it should always be done in person- I'd really rather he did it online, because I don't like talking to him face-to-face at all. And if it's "important" to him, it'll probably be something I really don't want him to talk to me about, so now... I've basically been chased offline. It's not okay. Does anyone know how to block someone so it just always seems like you're offline to them or something?? I want to talk to you guys, but... not to him. At all. Ever.

Wow, that was far rantier and bitchier than I like to be. Sorry about that... I'll stop now.

So I'm going up to Buffalo, New York tomorrow for the Bat Mitzvah of my second cousin who I've never met before in my life. But her dad and my dad are cousins and they actually knew and liked each other, and Dad didn't want to be the only one from our family going so... tomorrow I'm going to get dressed up (which I actually like) and go up and go to my second cousin's Bat Mitzvah where I'll be the awkward family that no one really knows and she doesn't want to talk to because I'm older than her and I don't know her, but I'll be too young for the adults... hopefully there will at least be good music. I suck at dancing, but I like it, so... yay dancing?

...This was way longer than I'd intended. You don't have to/you didn't have to read all of that...

This entry, condensed: QUASI ANGST.
Oh, and on a completely different note... I won't be online tomorrow, so this is early but... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, [profile] neutraltwin!!!  :D


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April 2012

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