Vanity=Self Confidence?

[arthoniel]

I'm a vain person. I've got to be honest with you all- I'm an incredibly vain person. I spend time working on how I look, when I care. (Weekday mornings do not count. I'm barely even human then- more zombie than human.) And it's because I like getting compliments, I like it when people look at me for just that nanosecond longer as I walk down the street, I like feeling pretty. And I do feel pretty most of the time- not to be narcissistic (vanity=/=narcissism) but I honestly believe that I am a really pretty girl. But when someone points that out, or tells me I look beautiful, I just... I love it. And honestly, who wouldn't?

So I went back to my old middle school today. (That last paragraph was relevant, I promise... just stick with it a little.) Me and a bunch of other people who went to that middle school who now all go to my high school... we went back to talk about our high school (go HSAS!) and tell the 8th graders why they should go there. And I was so very awkward in middle school. In a way, I'm glad none of the students there remember me- I barely want anyone to remember how I was then. But I was just... so awkward- practically mute, thinking I had real friends there when for the most part I didn't (Wesley, Tori... I love you guys!!), and with such terrible fashion sense... it was just so bad. Who I am now hates who I was then.

So to go back to Center School (my middle school), and have the teachers there look at me blankly, not recognize me and look away, then do a double take and go all "...Is that you?? You... you look so... you look good!!" Yeah, that's pretty sweet.

Comments

[x-kurisuchinu-x.livejournal.com]

my mom probably wishes I were more like people like you, hah. people that are fashion-forward and really, really care about their appearance, I mean.

y'know, I feel the same way when people compliment me about my singing; I'm the epitome of self-consicous the majority of the time, so when someome tells me how wonderful my voice sounds during chorus - especially when it's like, a senior or something - it just...makes my heart soar.

that's so great, though. it must feel good to hear that as the first thing that comes out of a former teacher's mouth. :)

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Oh, haha, I'm not at all fashion-forward, and I usually don't care about my appearance. I just like to look good in front of people who knew me at a really awkward age... namely, most of my life before high school. XD

But that's so great when people like your singing~ I sing too, but it's really more... not quite for myself, because I'm a total attention-whore, and I love performing, so if they'll listen, I'll sing, but... that's so great for you~ :D

...But it is. It really, really is. XD

[engelen.livejournal.com]

I know wxactly what you mean about ALL in this post

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Yeah, pretty much. I'm just glad that stage of my life is over with.

[engelen.livejournal.com]

I'm glad about mine being over too :S

new layout!

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I'm just so much happier now. :)

And really? Awesome! I'll have to check it out~

[engelen.livejournal.com]

No, I meant I thought you had a new layout... sorry D:

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Ohh... yeah, I haven't. I really want to though... I've had this one for so long and it's so generic... :/

[neutraltwin.livejournal.com]

I am surprised how happy I am to hear this. We're pretty much in the same boat, it seems; painfully shy back in childhood but having worked our way out of it. Vanity, in a way, is a pretty good trait; of all the ways to gain confidence, if it's tempered with some self-realisation, it's a pretty good one.

I kinda go with this too, actually. Though my biggest vanity moments are basically looking at myself in the mirror sometimes and thinking "Goddamn, I'm good looking."

And, y'know, it helps in cases like you and me where the vanity is totally founded. We're pretty hot. XD

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

It's true- unless it becomes complete narcissism and takes over your life, and so long as we see that we do have flaws, being a little vain is really not too bad a trait to have. And it means we actually like ourselves, unlike so many others.

And it does help that our vanity is totally founded. We're damn gorgeous. XD