I don't get it. Which possibly explains a lot.

[arthoniel]

Why the hell did I work so hard in school, try so hard to do well in all of my classes, if my grades can't even get me into the colleges I'm applying to? Why did I waste so much time on that crap?

Amherst- No
Brandeis- Wait listed
Wesleyan- No
Trinity- Haven't heard back from yet
Northwestern- No
SUNY Binghamton- Haven't heard back from yet
SUNY Albany- Yes
SUNY Purchase (Acting conservatory)- No
CUNY Macaulay Honors (at Hunter College)- No

I just don't understand why I wasted so much time, so much of my life, if I can't even get this.

I have a nearly straight-A average, I got two fours and a five (all out of five) on the APs I took, with score choice (and nearly all of the colleges I applied to use score choice) on the SATs I have a composite score of 2120, with one of the parts of that being a perfect 800... and I worked so hard to get all that. Why did I even bother?

Comments

[arthoniel.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon.

Yeah, I figure it's probably something like that too. That, and I applied to a lot of really small colleges. Amherst, for example, had nearly 9,000 applicants for an incoming class of under 500. Wesleyan I thought I might've had a better chance at, but... well, it doesn't matter now.

The thing is though, I don't really feel that... sad, or upset over it. I just feel... frozen, and apathetic. And... mild confusion over why I cared so much before. Why I just sat on my bed, staring into space, just constantly checking my e-mail because I knew I was going to hear back from them for about an hour and a half today. I don't feel... anything about it, and that scares me more than I feel anything else about not having gotten into the majority of the colleges on my list.

But at least I did get into UAlbany. I'm also glad that that was the decision I got first- I would be flipping so many shits if I just got all those denials before an acceptance...

But thanks. <3